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Don’t be nice to me.
I don’t want you to be nice.
I want you to shine, to cry, to pour out your light into the world.
I want you to be your best self.
I want you to be extraordinary.
I don’t want you to make me come.
No, I want you to make love to me and give all you’ve got, deep from the heart and into the skin I’m now tearing open.
I want you to trust me with every cell of your worn-out body.
I want you to surrender at last.
I want you to make love.
We’re not making porn here.
We’re making it. Literally making it.

Don’t be nice to me.
I don’t want you to be.
Throw that polite smirk.
Reveal the flesh, the unforgiving wound we’ve all worn since the day we were born.
Like the raw red of sex at dawn. Like the whining limp of an untrusted soul. The suffering of beauty made queen.
Don’t be nice.
There’re plenty of very good moments for being nice and now isn’t one of them.
Now is the time to rise.
Now is the time to collide against your expectation that I might expect something from you.
Now is the time to stand against the thoughts, memories, ghosts, delusions you’ve carried since you first met them, dangling from your mother’s breast.

Don’t be nice!
Be a fool. A mad one.
Be gullible and sweet and tender.
Be a genius, a king, a dictator.
Be a beggar, heavy load of emotions traveling loudly in the buzzing city.
Be grand, be proud, be wise!
Not nice.
Nice is for the muted sound of fearful resentment.
Nice is for the weak, the grey, the dull, rainy days.
Nice isn’t nice. Nice is meek. Nice is invisible and dehumanizing. Nice is cruel.
Be not nice to me. Be you.

Sideways Glances, Wishful Thinking

My heart has taken contracts
That I would never sign
Not even if I were
Remotely sober
Or promised heavens.

So I thought I might as well
Learn a thing or two
In the process
Don’t try to teach humility
To someone who won’t step out of

Swimming Mantra

Float like a butterfly
Sting like a bee
Said Ali

Let your hips carry thee
Your belly sustains thee
Breathe and breathe
Save your energy

Be here
Be here
Little tiny thee
In the big bright sea
Little body free
From you swimming here

I hate me when I’m drunk

I hate me when I’m drunk
I get drunk and I get laid
When it’s not rape it’s disaster
For the mister is so intense

He’s a freelancer
A busy prick
Whose shivers
Are neither cheap
Nor shared
Only taken
For granted


C’est l’histoire d’un guerrier et d’une princesse.
It’s the story of a warrior and a princess.
Seulement le guerrier pense qu’il et une princesse
Et la princesse croit qu’elle est un guerrier.
Only the warrior thinks he’s a princess
And the princess believes she’s a warrior.


There’re odd places in this world
That I go to when I’m in pain
Dreadful places of comfort
That I poorly love to hate

I visit them when I see change
Surface like a tsunami
Like rage crashing through the fence
Of my unsealed heart melody

And I might stay or leave quickly
But always I pay a tribute
To the violence they’ve been holding
Waiting for me to take notice

What the truth tastes like

The first time I’ve been told the truth
It had a metallic feeling
A mixed feeling, more like an alloy
It tasted like blood, red iron
And yet it was all blue and luminous and fierce.

Balancing doubt

Doubt if any
Truth will come to me
Doubt it shall be
To bend my head down
to the Earth
Doubt from many
Hidden layers
From there to then
And yet again
Doubt shall see me

My ex keeps popping up in my dreams like an asshole

He stands in black
Wearing a cap
As if hiding
From the ceiling

He’s staring down
Eyes on the ground
His corner gaze
Scanning the place

A heavy mouth
Drags his face south
Bitten in shame
Bitter with pain

And our eyes lock
But he won’t stop
The intense play
He’s acting there

The game of life

Sometimes I play games
Sometimes they play me
Sometimes I win games
Sometimes they lose me

I love you sunshine

The sun has in space
Some spot in the sun
And inside it’s insanely
For it shines like a ball
Of fire and soul
And nothing ever
It’s all infinite
It’s all sky, stars, and light
It’s all scary as hell
And yet the sun shines.