Balancing doubt

Doubt if any
Truth will come to me
Doubt it shall be
To bend my head down
to the Earth
Doubt from many
Hidden layers
From there to then
And yet again
Doubt shall see me
Through.

Doubt thou shall walk me through
And pass me on
To the buried shadows of the land
Where water meets the shore
At the line between us
Right on the border
Where the walls of my certainty end
There I am standing
With you a heavy load
Grounding me
With you an air balloon
Lifting me
And I shall release you
And you shall release me
To the world.

Sideways Glances, Wishful Thinking

My heart has taken contracts
That I would never sign
Not even if I were
Remotely sober
Or promised heavens.

So I thought I might as well
Learn a thing or two
In the process
Like
Don’t try to teach humility
To someone who won’t step out of
Humiliation.

Swimming Mantra

Float like a butterfly
Sting like a bee
Said Ali

Let your hips carry thee
Your belly sustains thee
Breathe and breathe
Save your energy

Be here
Be here
Little tiny thee
In the big bright sea
Little body free
From you swimming here

I hate me when I’m drunk

I hate me when I’m drunk
I get drunk and I get laid
When it’s not rape it’s disaster
For the mister is so intense

He’s a freelancer
A busy prick
Whose shivers
Are neither cheap
Nor shared
Only taken
For granted

Sa-u-vages

C’est l’histoire d’un guerrier et d’une princesse.
It’s the story of a warrior and a princess.
Seulement le guerrier pense qu’il et une princesse
Et la princesse croit qu’elle est un guerrier.
Only the warrior thinks he’s a princess
And the princess believes she’s a warrior.

Addictions

There’re odd places in this world
That I go to when I’m in pain
Dreadful places of comfort
That I poorly love to hate

I visit them when I see change
Surface like a tsunami
Like rage crashing through the fence
Of my unsealed heart melody

And I might stay or leave quickly
But always I pay a tribute
To the violence they’ve been holding
Waiting for me to take notice

What the truth tastes like

The first time I’ve been told the truth
It had a metallic feeling
A mixed feeling, more like an alloy
It tasted like blood, red iron
And yet it was all blue and luminous and fierce.

My ex keeps popping up in my dreams like an asshole

He stands in black
Wearing a cap
As if hiding
From the ceiling

He’s staring down
Eyes on the ground
His corner gaze
Scanning the place

A heavy mouth
Drags his face south
Bitten in shame
Bitter with pain

And our eyes lock
But he won’t stop
The intense play
He’s acting there